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Today I want to talk about a strange and confusing topic for a lot of guys - namely, getting mixed signals from a girl. You know what mixed signals are: one moment, she's flirty and warm with you, and you get excited, thinking you're getting somewhere with her. The next moment, she's cool and aloof - and you're really not sure what happened. Then, out of nowhere - BAM! You're back get warm. It can be used as a variation of “:P”. Otherwise it’s a typo of “:D” There are other faces where capitalization matters a lot as well. “:l” (which varies slightly in look depending on the font its typed in) is mainly a blank face while “:L” is a drooling face.
I hope you enjoy reading this blog post.
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You won’t find any real hook up opportunities on this website. They truly don’t exist. However, what you might find is local law enforcement or a spammer or some scumbag team trying to rip you off. Bedpage isn’t a free site. It actually costs real money. What does DTF mean? DTF is the newest of the terms I’ve mentioned so far and the least glamorous on the list. It stands for “down to f.k.” I’ll let you fill in the blanks since I do my best to keep this site as PG as I can.
Looking for Tinder conversation starters because you're tired of blowing it with your hottest matches?
Instead of striking out with lame messages like “hey there”, try sending one of these 14 icebreakers that actually work!
Then stick around for 3 simple tips that will boost your response rate and learn how to keep the conversation moving toward a date!
Animate Your First Tinder Message
Making her feel something with your opener is the key to getting a conversation started on Tinder – and GIFs are a great way to accomplish that.
Message #1:
A positive emotional response creates an instant bond, so she’s more likely to invest time in replying to you.
Message #2:
Then, once you’ve evoked this emotion, make it easy for her to write back by posing a fun or interesting question at the end of your message.
Message #3:
Not only do GIFs stand out in her message queue, they boost your response rate as well.
Data analysis by Tinder revealed that GIFs are 30% more likely to get a response, and the conversations last twice as long.
The right GIFs can also make funnyTinder conversation starters.
Numerous studies have shown women are naturally attracted to funny men. Finding a sense of humor sexy is literally hardwired into her brain.
Why not use mother nature to your advantage when it comes to scoring hot Tinder dates?
For example, pair a gif like this:
With an opener like…
Message #4:
Or a cute gif like this:
With an icebreaker like…
Message #5:
Of course, you can also be funny without using GIFs, but make sure your humor is on point.
Think classy, not locker room.
That’s a good rule to follow in general for messaging on dating apps, not just Tinder.
Kick Start A Craving
When it comes to boosting your response rate, mentioning food is a pro move.
Message #6:
According to Hinge, women are 40% more likely to respond to messages that get them craving something delicious, and that makes food a great Tinder conversation topic.
Message #7:
Engage Her Imagination
Travel also makes a compelling and engaging Tinder conversation starter.
Message #8:
Virtually all women love visiting new places and seeing the sights, or at least thinking about going somewhere amazing.
Message #9:
Who doesn’t have a travel bucket list?
Get Personal(ized) In Your Tinder Opener
Travel isn’t the only way to stimulate her mind’s “happy place.”
When you’re wondering what to say to a Tinder match, give her profile a quick skim and see if anything jumps out at you from her photos or her bio.
You could start a great conversation by asking her about…
A hobby you share, like in this example…
Message #10:
Or if you both love animals, ask about her pets, like this…
Message #11:
If her profile doesn't give you much to go on but her name is unusual sounding, go with an icebreaker like…
Message #12:
When you give her the opportunity to talk about herself, it stimulates pleasure centers in her brain.
That means responding to your first message literally makes her feel good.
Invite her to share something about herself, like in this Tinder starter:
Message #13:
The better she feels while messaging with you, the more comfortable she’ll be giving you her phone number.
Sending a first message like this one will have her responding in no time…
Message #14:
Age Isn’t Just A Number
Magical Tinder conversation starters don't exist. There is no first message every woman is guaranteed to respond to.
For one thing, age is a factor when it comes to predicting what type of message will work best for specific Tinder users.
A message that makes casual-minded cuties in their early 20s laugh and respond probably isn’t going to work that well with relationship-minded women in their mid 30s. These are very different audiences.
The data crunchers over at Hinge found that women of different ages respond better to messages in certain categories:
Keeping these categories in mind could pay off in higher response rates overall.
In fact, if you truly want to maximize your results, keep track of every opening line you send and every response it gets.
That way you can see what works for you and what doesn’t.
Yes, it’s a bit tedious, but the data you’ll get in return is totally worth it. This handy response rate calculator makes it as easy as it can possibly be…
Believe In Second Chances
Your data will let you know which messages perform best in general, and those are the keepers. Keep in mind, even really good Tinder conversation starters don’t work 100% of the time.
Don’t throw in the towel if she doesn’t respond to your first message. There could be thousands of reasons, and not all of them have to do with you. Maybe her meeting started, or she’s catching up on Outlander.
Whatever the reason, give her a second chance by sending a follow up message that relates back to your conversation starter, like this…
Tinder Follow Up Message #1:
According to a recent study conducted by the folks over at Hinge, that second message boosts your odds of getting a response – especially if you send it around four hours later.
But keep things fun and lighthearted, the last thing you want is to sound desperate for a response. That’s not hot.
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You can also use a “stock” message to respark a Tinder conversation, like this…
Tinder Follow Up Message #2:
A message like that works no matter what your first one said, which means you can quickly send it to any woman in your queue who hasn’t responded yet.
GIFs pair well with follow-up questions too:
And can even work as funny standalone “reminders”:
Or you can find one that relates to the message, like this GIF for the “radio silence” example above:
If she doesn’t respond to your second message, cut bait and move on. The more unanswered messages you send the stronger that whiff of desperation starts to smell.
There's no shortage of hotties on Tinder, so shift your efforts elsewhere and try starting a conversation with another match.
3 Tinder Tips That Will Boost Your Response Rate
To boost your response rate for each message, do these 3 simple things:
#1: Use her first name.
As Dale Carnegie noted in his famous book, “A person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language for that person.”
It works on Tinder too.
Including her name in your message creates an instant emotional bond – and when you get her feeling all warm and fuzzy she’s more likely to respond.
#2: Pay attention to spell check.
Messages with spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors are a dealbreaker for many women, so proofread your conversation starter before sending it.
#3: Message her in the evening.
According to the data crunchers over at Nielson, the most people hop on the app between 5 pm and midnight.
As you can see from the graph below, the best time to send your Tinder conversation starters is around 9 pm.
Keep The Convo Rollin’
On Tinder, keeping the momentum going is crucial. Tinder conversations have a short shelf life, so you want to move things off the app as quickly as possible by getting her number or scheduling a date.
When she responds to your opener, you need to move the conversation forward before she loses interest and moves on, or her Tinder profile disappears.
The easiest way to keep the momentum going is by asking her a question each time you send a message.
Generally, answering a question is easier than thinking of something new to say.
Think of it as saving her from that awkward silence at a cocktail party when the conversation stalls. When you take the reigns, it’s easy for her to follow your conversational lead.
Don’t be afraid to get creative – it is Tinder, after all.
As you get more messaging practice, you’ll develop a good feel for what works and what doesn’t. Keep track of the lines that work best for you, and use them again and again.
Get started with these great questions to ask a girl you like!
If you send a message that falls flat, you can still save the entire Tinder conversation.
For instance, if she replies:
“I have no idea how to respond to that”
Simply write something like:
“That’s okay, you don’t need to say anything. Just tell me more about your tastes… Night out on the town or Netflix? Chocolate cheesecake or warm apple pie? Hiking in the mountains or body surfing at the beach?”
On a dating app like Tinder, you may have to exchange 10+ messages before the time feels right to ask her out.
Here are 4 clues you should ask her out on Tinder:
When you feel the time is right, you have 2 options for taking things off the app:
- Asking for her phone number (or her Facebook)
- Suggesting a meet up
No matter which goal you have in mind, start by making a statement you know she’ll agree with.
That puts her in the “yes” frame of mind.
For instance, say “You seem cool, but I’ve found it’s hard to predict chemistry until you’re face to face with someone. Let’s meet up for coffee or drinks?”
Once she agrees, you can write “Great, what’s your number? I’ll text you to figure out the details…”
Want more tips on moving things off the app? Learn more about how to ask a girl out online!
The Fastest Way To Meet Tons Of Women On Apps Like Tinder
If you’re like most guys, you probably check Tinder about 11x a day. It can get pretty addictive.
Plus, you know you have to strike while the iron’s hot or you risk her moving on.
In fact, Tinder’s so hard to put down that active users spend an average of 90 minutes a day swiping and messaging.
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This weekend I happened upon a conversation regarding the hookup app Grindr. I was making my usual rounds in a few private, gay mens’ Facebook groups when someone posted the following:
“I just saw many people getting banned on Grindr. Anyone been banned from Grindr recently?”
Quickly, other Grindr subscribers in the group began to share stories of recently being arbitrarily banned from the app for violating the policies. However, in nearly every instance, the subscribers claimed to have done nothing wrong. They also collectively complained that they were given no reason for the ban despite their attempts to inquire and get reinstated.
One user, David, shared,
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“I got banned for no reason, and Grindr doesn’t respond to their emails when you inquire as to why you’re banned.”
Another user, Rocky, shared,
“Yes, I got banned, and never got a reason why.”
Moments later in the thread, a third user named James chimed in,
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“I got banded about a month ago and still don’t know why; all I can say is f*ck Grindr!”
Why this is happening is anyone’s guess. Still, some men feel targeted because the bans occurred after they sent another user their nude pics. Juan, a young 20- something, explained that after he sent nudes to another subscriber, he abruptly received a strange message that his account was suspended. It further directed him to go into the Apple Store and cancel his subscription:
Juan claims there was nothing out of the ordinary about the pics he had shared. Just as others have stated, he too was unable to get any assistance or information about the suspension of his account.
Grindr’s entire premise and construct is to meet others for dates, hook-ups, consensual encounters, etc. That’s initiated through the chat feature, which allows sexually explicit photos to be sent privately. So, if that now violates policy, it’s absurd not to inform the site’s subscribers.
The conversation quickly turned to one of speculation. Some of the men in the group claiming censorship, homophobia, or some phobia were the reasons for the suspended accounts. Homophobia seems far-fetched, considering it’s a gay dating app but as Juan shared more of his ordeal, perhaps here was another reason for his suspension,
“My story is that I recently started to dress as a female, and apparently I got blocked for messaging people back. My inbox had been full since September 9th. I can’t control whoever wanted to message me.”
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Juan seems to be speculating that maybe there is discrimination on the app against crossdressers, drag queens, or trans community members? Possibly though, if he were messaging multiple people back within a short window of time, his account might have gotten flagged incorrectly as spam account. That has happened. However, if nobody from the app’s customer service department responds to inquiries, how would Juan ever know?
Whereas many group members thought China still owned the app, it was sold to San Vicente Acquisition, a Los Angeles firm, in 2020, just four years after China originally acquired it. With that information, Facebook user Rizzo was determined to find out why the app suspended him without incident and then further blocked his IP address so he could not even make a new account.
According to Rizzo,
“It’s crazy. They banned me and can’t provide a reason. I went on LinkedIn and messaged the new CEO – who is straight. Grindr was bought by 3 straight men. There ya go!”
I reached out to Grindr for comment, and as yet, no response. It’s worth noting that according to user response on the app overall, it has one of the worst global consumer ratings of its genre. Take, for example, the review site Testpilot, where in Australia, the app has 1 star out of 5 and a 91% Bad rating out of 100. Making matters worse, Grinder is increasingly becoming more inundated with fake accounts, catfishing schemes, and solicitations. Not to mention that significant snafu over a year ago when the app was caught peddling users’ private information, including HIV status, to third party tech companies.
Combined with Grindr’s rather audaciously expensive monthly subscription pricing, this all equates to increasing unpopularity. The writing’s on the wall, and a mass exodus from the app is already happening. Gay men are canceling subscriptions and feeling more comfortable with competitors, including Scruff, Manhunt, Prowler, and Hornet.
I have no idea what’s going on in Grindr’s corporate boardroom, but the brand better take notice because it’s just five minutes away from becoming the Myspace of gay dating apps.